Kitten's Got Claws
by Lady of the Lost and Found
Summary: Ever wonder what goes on behind the closed doors of Fay Prima's house when Dwayne comes sniffing around? Well, now you'll know! The game of Cats and Vampires was never so exciting and naughty.[Oneshot]


**THIS IS RATED M FOR A REASON! DO NOT READ UNLESS YOU ARE OLD ENOUGH! I MEAN IT! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!**

**And on a more subtle note:**

**Hey Sportsfans!**

**I've never written smut or this kind of content before and I am just as surprised about it as you are. Honestly! Do not ask me where this came from. All I know is that Dwayne is one naughty boy and Fay brings a whole new meaning to the term "bad cat". I am never going to be able to look at another cat the same away again. Oy!**

**I was just as curious about what goes on behind closed doors in the Prima house when Dwayne comes a-calling and now I know. If you'd like to know too read on! And if you do not want you image of Fay to be tarnished or warped in any way...don't read on...or do read on...curiosity killed the cat you know. Muhahaha!**

**Oh! And if you are going to read this, I command you to pirate, download, or YouTube the song "Kitten's Got Claws" by Whitesnake. If you read the lyrics to that song and compare it to this one-shot you'll die of laughter. Listening to this song is mandatory to reading the story. Trust me you'll understand why when you do it. I promise you!**

* * *

The hot mid-August night was heavy and clammy, making it difficult for anyone in the Santa Carla region to get a decent night's sleep despite the fact that every air conditioning unit available was working overtime in an attempt to compensate for the heat wave. It had been two weeks and still there was no sign of rain in the forecast. People were becoming concerned but there was nothing that could be done. They would just have to wait it out and hope that rain came sooner rather than later.

Fay huffed in her sleep as she tossed, turned and rolled about on her bed. Every window in the house had been pried open in hopes of catching some sort of a late-night breeze but she was greatly disappointed. It had been two days since her air conditioner had conked out and it would be another two days before the handy-man could pay her a visit and fix the stupid thing. For the time being Fay's cats had decided to take refuge in the one cool place in the house and they spent the majority of their time lounging amongst the wine bottles in her windowless cellar, happy as clams while Fay had to deal with the sweat and other annoyances that came hand in hand with scorching temperatures.

Fay growled softly as she flopped onto her stomach and buried her head in her pillow. There was just no way of getting comfortable! She had kicked her down-filled Elvis bedspread into a corner and had decided to rough the night out with only a single sheet of fine Egyptian cotton to cover her. As for clothes, well, Fay chucked most of them right alongside the bedspread after 15 agonizing minutes of modesty. It was her house after all and she was entitled to sleep any way she pleased. So if Fay wanted to sleep in a bra and a thong, then that was what she was damn well going to do.

"Oh fuck this!" Fay hissed as she cracked open an eye and glared balefully out the open window. There was a new moon out and the house was as black as pitch. There was no way that she was going to be able to get any sleep that night. Maybe sleeping down in the cantina with the cats wasn't such a bad idea after all.

Fay huffed a limp strand of hair out of her face as she craned her head off the pillow and eyed the bleary numbers on the electric alarm clock that sat on her dresser. It was only 1:37 in the morning. She had a full day of teaching dance classes ahead of her and she knew that if she didn't get a few hours of sleep, there would be hell to pay.

"Can't I get a damn breeze? Please?" Fay said out-loud to no-one in particular as she rolled onto her back and jammed the pillow over her face. It was no good. Smothering herself wouldn't reduce the heat in the room. It felt like she was lying in an honest-to-god oven.

While Fay lay sprawled across her bed with her face hidden by the pillow, she didn't notice a shadowy figure dart across her window and vanish into the darkness. What she did notice however was the instant chill of an unnatural coldness that suddenly engulfed her and made the stifling room feel ten degrees cooler.

"You're late. _Again_." Fay's words were muffled by the pillow as she crossed her arms over her chest. There was no response to her statement but when she felt the unoccupied side of the bed suddenly dip under pressure Fay growled loud and long in order to make sure that whoever had just crawled into her bed knew that she wasn't happy about having been left alone since sundown. "You better have a better excuse than the one you gave me the last time because if I have to hear about Paul wanting a threesome one more time I'll beat your sorry ass."

"I missed you." Dwayne murmured softly as he gently ran his fingers up and down her right arm. He wasn't surprised when Fay smacked him upside the head because he knew that he had it coming.

"Is that the best you can do?" Fay asked him as she pulled the pillow away from her face and shot him a withering look. Despite the encompassing darkness the witch and the vampire could easily see where the other was by the bright gleam of their eyes. Dwayne's black eyes glinted like polished gems with their own inner light while Fay's honey brown eyes glowed with a heat that had nothing to do with the weather.

"It's true." Dwayne said with a shrug of his shoulders.

"No. What's true is that you missed this." Fay quickly grabbed Dwayne by the groin and squeezed hard. Her eyes narrowed victoriously when she heard Dwayne let out a sharp hiss and felt him tense up beside her.

"You know you're a real bitch when you're in heat." Dwayne growled low in his throat as his eyes flashed a hellish yellowish orange for a brief moment. He didn't dare move until Fay released him. Things were about to get rough really fast but Dwayne wanted to make sure that Fay's claws were nowhere near that area when they did. It was all part of the rules they had set up in order to prevent any disastrous effects from occurring while they fooled around. One of the rules for Dwayne was that necking was completely out of the picture while Fay had to restrict her claws to his upper torso only. It wouldn't do them any good if Fay accidentally shredded his lower half to ribbons or if he bit her too hard on the neck and ended up piercing a major artery.

"Well what to do expect when I dance all day and have to come home to a house that is hotter than hell?" Fay asked as she grudgingly released her hold on Dwayne in order to smack him in the face with her pillow.

Dwayne's arm shot up and he easily wrenched the pillow out of Fay's hands before he tossed it over his shoulder. "I wasn't talking about the weather Fay."

"And your point is?" Fay questioned and sat up while Dwayne stayed where he was, lounging on his side as if he had every right to be on that side of the bed. "If you think you can use that as an excuse Dwayne you're wrong."

"Oh yeah?" Dwayne arched an eyebrow and stared right at her, his eyes acting like twin magnets and Fay suddenly went still. The only sound that could be heard was the steady _tick-tick_ of the Felix the Cat clock in the kitchen as Fay and Dwayne stared each other down.

"You're not getting it that easy Dwayne. You're going to have to work for it tonight." Fay's voice was raspy as she drew her legs under her and planted her hands on the bed in front of her. With her back facing the wall there was no way that Dwayne could easily overpower her without getting a wicked set of claws to the face.

"What do you want me to do?" Dwayne asked quietly as he tensed and waited to see what Fay would do.

Fay's eyes flashed like twin beacons as they shifted from brown to a bright golden and Dwayne let out a sharp gasp when he felt something soft lightly brush the side his face. He made a lightning grab for it but all he got was air as Fay's tail darted out of his reach.

Fay snickered out-loud when Dwayne let out frustrated growl and she knew that she was calling the shots that night. If there was one thing that turned Dwayne on faster than a light switch it was her tail. He was the only one to ever see it and if Paul ever found out about the tail and what it could do, there would be no stopping the guy from barging into her house and doing the nasty. But Fay didn't have to worry about beating Paul out of her bedroom because Dwayne made sure that the guy would never find out about it. That tail was for his pleasure alone as far as he was concerned and he would kill any guy who had other ideas. Yeah Dwayne was possessive but then again so was Fay.

Fay lowered her head so that it was aligned between her shoulder blades and she fixed Dwayne such a stare that the hair on the back of his neck stood on end. Gone was the annoyed expression and familiar features. In the darkness Dwayne could make out the outline of her sculpted muzzle and the triangular nose that twitched ever so slightly as Fay sniffed the air. Dwayne found it hard to stay still as Fay's tail flicked back and forth like a metronome keeping time but he knew the rules. He couldn't do a thing until Fay made the first move and went she did the fun would begin.

"I want you to catch me." Fay finally responded and that's went they both let loose.

On the nights when there was a new moon in the sky Dwayne and Fay ignored all that cuddling and romantic crap. They could do that any other night. However getting the chance to really inflict some serious marks without having to worry about maiming or killing one another only happened a few days every month so they were going to make the best of it in what little time they had. Dwayne couldn't hang around all day and at some point during the night Fay was going to have to get a few hours of snooze time so keeping all this in mind the vampire and the cat lady set about making up for lost time.

Dwayne's vampire self morphed into existence as he lunged forward but Fay had anticipated this and with a cat screech she threw herself up and over Dwayne's head, leaving a neat row of claw marks on his left shoulder for his efforts.

Fay wasn't going to make this easy for Dwayne so by the time Dwayne untangled himself from the bed sheets Fay was long gone.

"Damn that cat." Dwayne huffed as he hauled himself off the bed and silently padded to the open door that led into the long hallway. He paused for a moment as he sniffed the air and listened cautiously to make sure that Fay wasn't waiting to ambush him outside the bedroom door. Sensing that the way was clear Dwayne growled ever so softly and stepped out into the hallway in full hunting mode.

It was a dangerous game they played but one that they couldn't and wouldn't stop doing. Fay's house became the hunting ground and everything was fair game as they stalked each other in the shadows. When they finally came face to face it would be a free for all to see who could dominate the other and whoever won that battle earned the right to do whatever the hell they wanted. Dwayne had some pretty interesting ideas that concerned Fay's tail but if he wanted to try them out that night he was going to have to make sure he didn't end up being Fay's chew toy for the evening. Such was the game of Cat and Vampire.

Keeping his back to the wall Dwayne prowled from one room to the next, all senses on high alert as he tried to flush Fay out. However the cat lady would not be deterred and she always seemed to be one step ahead of him, the cat version of Carmen Sandiego running from country to country and it drove him insane. He could smell her excitement throughout the house and it literally made him drool.

Thank god the others weren't there to see it. They'd never let him live it down. A bad-ass vampire drooling over a chick with claws and a tail?

Well then again the others never got the chance to experience just what that tail and those claws could do.

Despite Dwayne's keen hunting skills Fay was making it difficult to him to find her. Sometimes she would be behind him, not moving a muscle as he sniffed in her direction, while other times she would be under the bed or in a closet that he had already investigated. Hell she even managed to wedge herself in a corner and hung from the ceiling with all four sets of claws and Dwayne was none the wiser as he prowled right under her. It was a tough move to pull off but Fay was dead set on winning this round and once Dwayne slipped out of the kitchen in order to sniff around the living room, Fay carefully let herself down using the handles on the cupboards as footholds.

Fay hit the floor tiles on all fours without a sound. She paused and looked over her shoulder to make sure that Dwayne had not snuck up behind her. With a smile that would have put the Cheshire Cat to shame, Fay kept herself low to the ground as she slinked around the legs of the kitchen table and vanished into the living room like a lioness hiding in tall grass.

Dwayne knew that he had made a serious mistake when he saw Fay's bra and thong lying in a neat little pile on the coffee table. There was the bait and the cat had to be somewhere close. His eyes slowly roamed over the room and even with his superb night vision he couldn't see anything out of the ordinary. He knew he was being watched and that he had walked right into Fay's little trap but instead of backing out of the room Dwayne went towards the coffee table in order to investigate Fay's calling card, thus setting the trap off.

Both figures moved like greased lightning, each emitting a snarl that set the other off. Fay leapt out from behind the loveseat just as Dwayne dropped to one knee and spun around to face her. They collided head on and the force from Fay's attack knocked Dwayne onto his back but he managed to lock his arms around Fay and trapped her to him, making it impossible for her to worm her way free.

Now the fun really started.

"Is that the best you got?" Dwayne growled as he fought to wrap his legs around Fay's so that he could pin her but Fay wouldn't stand still long enough for him to succeed.

"You're mine tonight pal." Fay sneered before she bit his ear and hung on, tail lashing about like a live wire as she tugged left and right, dragging Dwayne across the floor like some big cat hauling its kill after it.

And that was it for conversation as Dwayne thrusted his hips upward and threw his weight to his right. Fay screeched angrily as he rolled on top of her, claiming the dominate position. But that lasted for about five seconds before Fay brought her knees to her chest and kicked him off of her.

Both the vampire and cat lady rolled to their feet at the same time and went right back at it, locking themselves together as they scrapped it out, kicking and tussling round the living room, knocking furniture aside left right and center.

Down in the basement Figaro and Elvis opened their eyes and looked up at the ceiling as the roars, snarling and yowls reached their ears. Perfectly content with lounging around the cool glass wine bottles, the two cats just looked at each other and yawned before they went right back to sleep, not bothering to go and investigate. They knew what was going on and they didn't care just as long as there was food in their food bowls by morning.

"C'mere you." Dwayne muttered as he grabbed Fay's left leg and dragged her over to the couch. Fay yowled and twisted around, curling into an impossible ball as she dug her claws into his hand until he released her.

"That wasn't nice." Dwayne shook his hand and flexed his fingers, carefully eyeing the rivulets of blood that trickled from the scratches that Fay had inflicted.

"Neither is this." Fay flashed him a toothy feline grin as she pounced, knocking him backwards and onto the couch. Fay was on top of Dwayne in a flash and she planted her clawed hands on his shoulders and pinned him to the couch with a smug look on her face, putting an end to their rough and tumble round.

"I win." She purred as her tail flicked in an upward arch. With a triumphant grin Fay locked eyes with Dwayne just as a series of loud bangs echoed throughout the house. Thinking that Paul was in the house Dwayne tried to rise off the couch but Fay growled and dug her claws into his skin in order to prevent him from moving. "Don't worry, it's just the windows."

Dwayne gave her a questioning look but he quickly realized what she meant when the front window behind them suddenly slammed shut on its own accord and locked itself.

"Don't want the neighbors to hear us." Fay giggled as she lowered her head and rubbed the side of her face against Dwayne's cheek, cat style.

"You bad cat." Dwayne groaned as Fay lowered herself on top of him, purring up a storm as her tail tickled the inside of his thigh. If it wasn't for his jeans the two of them would have been going at it like ferrets right then.

"And you love it. Admit it." Fay licked her lips as she tilted her head to the side so that their noses touched. The sharp ridges of Dwayne's face contrasted with the broad angles of Fay's feline visage yet somehow both of their faces had a slight similarity to them. There was a wild animalistic look that they both seemed to share despite the vast difference in species. It was both exotic and horrific at the same time but neither of them seemed to mind at all. "Admit it!"

"C'mere pussycat." Dwayne chuckled as he reached over and yanked Fay's pesky tail away from the zipper of his jeans. Fay hissed softly and batted his face in annoyance but this time she didn't leave any marks.

"Excuse me. I don't think so. No touchy the tail pal unless I say you can." Fay prodded his bare chest with a claw as she sat on his stomach, straddling him with an annoyed look on her feral face. Dwayne just laughed as he let go of her tail and grazed his nails along Fay's thigh.

"Well then you better say it soon cause I'm about to loose it right now." He stated as he looked up at her, his eyes gleaming dangerously as he took in the sight that would have made Paul get down on his knees and grovel like a whipped dog. Fay was as naked as the day she was born and there was nothing more that Dwayne could have asked for. Sure she wasn't the bustiest babe in Santa Carla but man did he love those 34 B's. She had meat on her bones, not like those twig models in the _Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition_ that Paul and Marko were always drooling over, and she had a pair of thighs that he just wanted to sink his fangs into. And then there was that tail. Oh that sleek furry prehensile tail.

"Ahem?" Fay flicked his nipple with her claws in order to bring his attention back to her face. She rolled her eyes as she lazily waved her tail behind her, watching Dwayne's eyes follow it back and forth. "You're hopeless you know that?"

"Yeah…" Dwayne said not really paying attention as he bared his teeth, wanting nothing more than to lock his jaws around that teasing tail. He watched in wonder as the tip of Fay's tail curled around itself, bending in ways that no normal cat tail could ever manage without being broken in a dozen places. "Damn it Fay!"

Fay huffed softly as she crossed her arms over her chest, looking down her muzzle at him. "What am I going to do with you?"

"You're killing me here." Dwayne hissed between clenched teeth as the tip of the tail ducked down and toyed with his crotch once more. Fay's smile broadened to a wicked grin as she relaxed her arms and began to kneed Dwayne's chest with her claws while her tail went to work on his lower region. Dwayne was helpless to do anything about it, not that he wanted to mind you, and it didn't take long before Fay had him begging for more.

"God…damn…it." Dwayne gasped as the tail rubbed him up and down, up and down. The restriction of his jeans was making it damn well painful for him to respond and Fay knew it. She purred deeply as her claws went to work on leaving a fresh set of track marks across his broad chest. They would be completely healed by the next night but for now she submerged herself in the mild bloodletting, working Dwayne up to the very edge of his self control.

When Dwayne was literally chomping at the bit Fay knew that it was time. With a seductive mewl she climbed off of him and stretched herself out on the thick carpet, stretching luxuriously as she rolled onto her back and presented her belly to him. Without bothering to undo the zipper Dwayne just ripped off his jeans and flung them away as he leapt to his feet, growling deeply as her tail waved him over. Lust-laden snarls erupted from his chest as he flung himself onto Fay, taking up the reigns of dominance as he planted his arms on either side of Fay's shoulders and trapped her beneath him. Instead of fighting back Fay half-closed her eyes and lifted her face to meet his. She ran her tongue over the ridges of his forehead and down his nose. The rough sandpapery texture of it made Dwayne wince slightly but when he caught her mouth with his own Fay mewled hungrily as their fangs scrapped against each other creating a painful yet pleasurable friction. They only separated when Fay had to come up for air but Dwayne didn't let that stop him. Dwayne's fangs nipped and traced Fay's chest while her claws did quite the number on his back, drawing enough blood to whip him into a seizure-like frenzy. To a vampire there was nothing like bloodletting and sex and even though he had to keep resisting the urge to embed his teeth into Fay's neck, he wouldn't be walking away disappointed that night.

They both instinctively knew what to do next and with a frustrated growl from Dwayne Fay unlatched her claws and rolled onto her stomach so that she could get into a crouched position. Dwayne rubbed his face along the stripe of soft tan fur that ran from the base of her spine to the tip of her tail and Fay buried her face in the carpet in order to stifle a roar that came from deep inside. It was on nights like this one that Fay ever roared. Any other time she'd shriek, hiss, yowl and scream but never roar. Cat ladies weren't supposed to have the ability to roar. But it turned out that her grandmother's genetics had a lot more influence than Fay would have thought because there was no other reason to explain why Fay could roar like a friggin lion when the mood struck her.

Dwayne answered her roar with one of his own before he locked his teeth on the furry scruff of Fay's neck and thrust himself into her from behind. They weren't doing it doggy style, they were doing it lion style. Dwayne's mane of long black hair fanned out over his shoulders as he kept his arms pinned over Fay like twin pillars of unmovable muscle. Fay arched her back and dug her claws into the carpet as they both snarled and growled like a pair of overly-hormonal predatory cats. Dwayne moved hard and fast and he didn't ease his grip on Fay's neck fur as they both came at the same time and the roar Fay let rip rattled the windows.

"You think the Grisham's heard us?" Fay panted as Dwayne collapsed on top of her, momentarily spent.

"I don't fuckin' care if Paul heard us." Dwayne muttered into her shoulder as Fay's tail wrapped itself around his right arm and tugged.

"You sure about that?" Fay asked quietly as she squirmed under him and managed to roll him off of her before he accidentally smothered her into the carpet.

"Why are you asking?" Dwayne asked as he unwrapped Fay's tail from his arm and gently nipped the furry tip.

"Call me crazy but I think he did hear us." Fay grumbled as she snuggled under his arm, wedging herself against him like a puzzle piece.

"Huh?" That was Dwayne's logical response as he glanced down at Fay. She looked at him, rolled her eyes and pointed her tail towards the large front window that was half-covered by white blinds. Dwayne couldn't believe what he was seeing.

There was Paul, pressed up against the window like one of the window-clinging Garfield toys, staring right at them with huge blue eyes as if he couldn't believe what he was seeing. He honestly looked like a little boy peering into a candy shop that didn't have any money to buy any sweet. Dwayne didn't know whether or not he should laugh or rip Paul's head off.

"Kill him tomorrow if you have to. Tonight you're mine." Fay reminded him as she gave Dwayne a knowing look before she glanced at the window and waved her tail at Paul. The heartbroken look on Paul's face was priceless. He knew he was never ever _ever_ going to be able to get a closer look at that tail and from what he had just seen he would have been ready to sell his soul, if he had one, to get the chance to do what Dwayne had just done.

"I'm going to have to chain him to the wall before I come over next time. This is ridiculous." Dwayne muttered as he rose to his feet and padded over to the window.

"_C'mon man! Don't do this to me! Please! I'm begging you here! I'll be your slave for a year…for ten years if you just let me in! C'mon man! What's so wrong about a threesome!" _Paul's voice was muffled by the glass but Fay could still hear everything he said.

"**No **Paul!" Dwayne growled as he blocked Paul's view of Fay and grabbed the chord for the window blinds. "Go away!"

Paul kept pleading and begging as Dwayne slowly lowered the blinds, enjoying every moment as he watched Paul struggle to lower himself to his knees in Fay's rose bushes in a vain attempt at getting another peak of her. Dwayne waved once as he finally lowered the blinds completely and he smiled with satisfaction as Paul yowled in protest.

"Poor Paul." Fay laughed as she sat up and rubbed the back of her neck. She could hear Paul banging on the kitchen window now as all the window blinds and shades in the house lowered themselves to prevent Paul from seeing anything else as the night wore on. Dwayne grunted something under his breath and didn't give him blood brother another thought as he went back to Fay and picked her up right off the ground. He knew Paul wouldn't dare try to enter the house because if he did Dwayne wouldn't hesitate to kill him and Paul knew it. So putting Paul out of his mind Dwayne concentrated on the task at hand.

Fay gave him a coy smile as she wrapped herself around his neck like a human scarf and tickled his nose with her tail.

"To the bedroom, I command you!" She said in a mock growl as her tail straightened and pointed the way to the stairs.

"Yes ma'am." Dwayne grinned and walked out of the room with Fay on his shoulders, already ready to have a go at Round Two. Being a vampire certainly had its perks and unlimited stamina was one of them.


End file.
